{"id":1,"date":"2024-11-03T19:22:35","date_gmt":"2024-11-03T19:22:35","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/unitedstateofminds.nl\/?p=1"},"modified":"2025-10-17T10:59:09","modified_gmt":"2025-10-17T08:59:09","slug":"leadership-for-change-transition-is-a-love-story","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/unitedstateofminds.nl\/en\/leadership-for-change-transition-is-a-love-story\/","title":{"rendered":"Leadership for Change &#038; Transition is a LOVE story"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>[et_pb_section fb_built=&#8221;1&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.27.4&#8243; custom_padding=&#8221;0px||||false|false&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_row _builder_version=&#8221;4.27.4&#8243; background_size=&#8221;initial&#8221; background_position=&#8221;top_left&#8221; background_repeat=&#8221;repeat&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_column type=&#8221;4_4&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.16&#8243; custom_padding=&#8221;|||&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; custom_padding__hover=&#8221;|||&#8221;][et_pb_text _builder_version=&#8221;4.27.4&#8243; background_size=&#8221;initial&#8221; background_position=&#8221;top_left&#8221; background_repeat=&#8221;repeat&#8221; max_width=&#8221;800px&#8221; hover_enabled=&#8221;0&#8243; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; sticky_enabled=&#8221;0&#8243;]<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p>Not the romantic kind &#8211; but about staying when things get hard.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>If you ask a room of senior leaders what makes a great leader, the answers will sound familiar: vision, decisiveness, resilience, clarity. Occasionally, someone might mention empathy \u2013 almost as an afterthought.<\/p>\n<p>But mention <strong>love<\/strong> in the context of leadership, and the room goes silent out of confusion, discomfort and sometimes with a nervous chuckle.<\/p>\n<p>Love has long been exiled from the language of business \u2013 especially in the boardroom. It\u2019s perceived as too soft. Too emotional. Too intimate. Too&#8230; <em>risky.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>And yet I want to talk with you about Leadership as a Love-story \u2013 not romantic, but real. As Gianpiero Petriglieri \u2014 professor at INSEAD, puts it:<\/p>\n<p>\u201cPeople don\u2019t grow because you teach them.<br \/>They grow because you love them while they\u2019re learning.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s a simple, almost poetic idea. But behind it lies a radical challenge to how we think about leading, learning, and growing \u2014 especially in times of change and transition.<\/p>\n<p><strong>The Real Work of Leading<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Leadership is often equated with knowing the answers. Delivering results. Making the call when no one else will. And yes, those things do matter and make a difference.<\/p>\n<p>But the deeper work of leadership? That\u2019s relational.<br \/>It\u2019s about creating and holding space for others to stretch into new versions of themselves \u2014 without fear of abandonment or breakdown.<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s about your presence \u2013 steady, even when growth is slow, messy, and uncertain.<br \/>That\u2019s what Petriglieri calls love.<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s the blind spot in most leadership for change and transition efforts.<\/p>\n<p>We tend to focus on competence. On tools. On frameworks.<\/p>\n<p>But people don\u2019t transform because they\u2019re handed a model.<\/p>\n<p>They transform because someone saw them.<br \/>Stood with them.<br \/>Believed in who they were becoming, not just who they were.<\/p>\n<p><strong>The Myth of the Detached Professional<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Somewhere along the way, leadership turned into performance. A performance of certainty, efficiency, and control.<\/p>\n<p>Many leaders \u2014 especially high-achieving, analytical ones \u2014 learned to hide their emotions behind their expertise.<br \/>To push forward, even when their teams are silently falling apart.<\/p>\n<p>Lets take Mark de Jong \u2013 a composite of the the ambitious commercial leaders I\u2019ve worked with, he knows this story well.<\/p>\n<p>He\u2019s the Commercial Director who hits every quarterly target. His team performs. The numbers impress.<br \/>There\u2019s fatigue, change-fatigue. Disconnection and dis-engagement. A gnawing sense that something\u2019s missing.<\/p>\n<p>His people don\u2019t open up. Trust is transactional.<br \/>And when change comes \u2014 as it always does \u2014 they freeze. Or worse, they disengage.<\/p>\n<p>Mark doesn\u2019t need another playbook. He needs a shift in presence.<\/p>\n<p>He needs to move from managing performance to <strong>holding space<\/strong> for transformation.<\/p>\n<p>And that begins with love.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Love, Defined as Devotion<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>To be clear: this is not romance. It\u2019s not about being soft, passive, or overly accommodating.<\/p>\n<p>Love, in leadership, is <strong>devotion<\/strong>.<\/p>\n<p>Devotion to another\u2019s potential.<br \/>Devotion to staying present through discomfort.<br \/>Devotion to holding space without having to fix, rescue, or rush.<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s easy to \u201clead\u201d when people behave, perform, and deliver.<\/p>\n<p>The real test?<br \/>How do you show up when your team is uncertain? Emotional? Failing?<br \/>Do you lean in \u2014 or shut down?<\/p>\n<p>Do you control \u2014 or contain?<\/p>\n<p>This is where love shows up. Or doesn\u2019t.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Building Brave, Wise, Loved Spaces<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Petriglieri has a haunting way of describing modern organizations:<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWe\u2019ve built workplaces where people are smart and scared, productive and depleted.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He suggests we need spaces where people are not just efficient, but <strong>brave, wise, and loved<\/strong>.<\/p>\n<p>This is not idealism. It\u2019s the foundation of new and sustainable leadership.<\/p>\n<p>Because growth doesn\u2019t happen in fear.<br \/>Innovation doesn\u2019t emerge in isolation.<br \/>And resilience doesn\u2019t come from KPIs \u2014 it comes from connection.<\/p>\n<p>If we want leaders who can lead through complexity, we need to teach them how to love.<br \/>Not sentimentally \u2014 but structurally.<\/p>\n<p>How to create psychological safety.<br \/>How to hold presence.<br \/>How to stay, when others are tempted to run.<\/p>\n<p><strong>So What Does This Mean For You?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>If you&#8217;re leading a team, a business, or a transformation \u2014 this is your invitation:<\/p>\n<p>\u276f Build spaces that allow for unpolished moments.<br \/>\u276f Stay curious when people are uncertain, not just when they\u2019re \u201con track.\u201d<br \/>\u276f Lead not from fear of failure, but from devotion to growth.<br \/>\u276f And yes \u2014 love your people while they\u2019re learning.<\/p>\n<p>Because at the end of the day, people don\u2019t remember the frameworks you taught them.<\/p>\n<p>They remember that you stayed.<\/p>\n<p>If this strikes a chord \u2013 let\u2019s talk.<\/p>\n<p>No pitch, no prep needed. Just a call to explore how your leadership story looks like.<\/p>\n<p>Sometimes, one honest conversation is enough to shift the lens. Book your precious personal time via this link; <a href=\"https:\/\/calendly.com\/margerieth-visser\/discovery-meeting\">https:\/\/calendly.com\/margerieth-visser\/discovery-meeting<\/a><\/p>\n<p>&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8211;<\/p>\n<p><strong>About the Author<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><em>Margerieth is a Consultant for Leading Commercial Change and Transition, INSEAD lecturer, and coached to over 1,500+ senior executives navigating commercial change. She has worked with clients like TCS (Tata Consulting Services), TechMahindra, and Stellantis on leading innovation and transformation. <\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Her work blends research, system dynamics, and deep human insight to help leaders shift from control to presence \u2014 and unlock lasting change.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>www.unitedstateofminds.nl<\/p>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Not the romantic kind &#8211; but about staying when things get hard. If you ask a room of senior leaders what makes a great leader, the answers will sound familiar: vision, decisiveness, resilience, clarity. Occasionally, someone might mention empathy \u2013 almost as an afterthought. But mention love in the context of leadership, and the room [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"on","_et_pb_old_content":"<!-- wp:paragraph -->\n<p>Welcome to WordPress. This is your first post. 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